Category: Masculinity
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Do Guys Want Sex, or What?
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Can ancient philosophy help you deal with feeling unwanted, undesired and deeply sexually frustrated? Men crave validation, acceptance, and comfort, we want to feel wanted and visible. But the main way we have been taught to get all of that is through sex. That’s not always healthy or useful. We should follow Socrates’ advice and really…
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The Five Stages of Men’s Grief
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The psychological model of the stages of grief is used to better understand how people experience loss or change and to explain their often difficult behaviour. I think we should apply it to how men experience and react to the modern changing world. Some background Back in the 1960s, a Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was…
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Dear progressives, can we please treat all men like criminals?
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Men are not toxic by default, just like there are no natural-born criminals. But we all do some things wrong and should try to be better. A bit more understanding of the structural challenges we face would go a long way in helping us do that. My hood The area of Berlin, where I live…
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Want Gender Equality? Become a Men’s Ally
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We talked a lot about the importance of becoming a women’s ally. As we look closely at masculinity, men also need you on their side. Help them in these 6 ways. A common strategy to inspire men to become better humans is to beat them until they mould into the desired shape. Somewhat oddly, it doesn’t…
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The Dark Side of Gender Equality
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Women have proven they’re capable of doing anything a man can do. Which turns out to not always be a good thing. I was brought up in a conservative, Catholic country and absorbed a whole lot of misogynist narratives. There were the usual suspects: boys don’t cry, girls can’t do maths, guys sleeping around is cool…
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On Being Desired
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Basking in the flames It’s party night. I just know this one is going to be awesome. A handpicked crowd of weirdos and misfits, a massive flat with themed rooms, a bunch of art performances… I took Monday off. I’m pretty hyped and feel like making an effort for this one. Just as well that…
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Guilty until proven innocent
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I remember the first time somebody told me that when I walk down the street at night and there is a woman walking in front of me, I should cross to the other side so she doesn’t feel threatened. I don’t think I understood it at first. Why? What have I done? Have I become…
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Are Men Emotionally Immature?
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For a host of very bad reasons, we spent a very long time denying that women are equally capable of doing math as men. Some very smart people would justify this: after all, women are the emotional ones who can’t fathom the rational workings of a male mind. They would even present empirical proofs: Behold…
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Short On Sex
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I admit it, I haven’t been my best self when I’m sex starved. I have been irritable. I have been passive-aggressive. I have said things that made my partner feel inadequate, and I have done it in the full awareness of the fact that this not only hurts her, but also makes my problem worse:…