Category: Masculinity
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Madness Café Interview!
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I am honoured to have been invited by Raquel Howard and Jennifer Moorman Bolanos to their great podcast, the Madness Café. It’s doubly important to me, as I’m one of only a few men to appear on it. We talk about a number of topics, including the problems men experience in the modern world, the…
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Men’s Problems Are Real Problems
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There is a worrying trend of denying that the problems men struggle with exist or are important. Loneliness, sexual frustration, confusion over what is appropriate, pressures to conform, difficulties in dealing with emotions, are all routinely trivialised and dismissed. Doing so is not helpful and only creates more distrust, hurt feelings, and unwillingness to improve. We need to admit…
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Guys, go see Barbie but watch Ken
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Everybody is raving about how woke and feminist the Barbie movie is and either loves it or hates it. I can see why, but I think few people pay enough attention to a very positive and powerful message it holds for men: You Are Kenough Yeah, I know the movie has been out for ages. What…
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Don’t Trust the Old Man’s Map, or What’s Up with Jordan Peterson?
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Jordan Peterson describes the modern world as chaotic and claims to offer you a map that will help you safely navigate through it. But as the world changes, maps go out of date and lead you astray. And since the Chaos is not going away, it’s time you stop fearing it and learn to surf…
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Do Guys Want Sex, or What?
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Image by KYS, available on this gallery page Can ancient philosophy help you deal with feeling unwanted, undesired and deeply sexually frustrated? Men crave validation, acceptance, and comfort, we want to feel wanted and visible. But the main way we have been taught to get all of that is through sex. That’s not always healthy or…
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The Five Stages of Men’s Grief
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The psychological model of the stages of grief is used to better understand how people experience loss or change and to explain their often difficult behaviour. I think we should apply it to how men experience and react to the modern changing world. Some background Back in the 1960s, a Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was…
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Dear progressives, can we please treat all men like criminals?
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Men are not toxic by default, just like there are no natural-born criminals. But we all do some things wrong and should try to be better. A bit more understanding of the structural challenges we face would go a long way in helping us do that. My hood The area of Berlin, where I live…
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Want Gender Equality? Become a Men’s Ally
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We talked a lot about the importance of becoming a women’s ally. As we look closely at masculinity, men also need you on their side. Help them in these 6 ways. A common strategy to inspire men to become better humans is to beat them until they mould into the desired shape. Somewhat oddly, it doesn’t…
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The Dark Side of Gender Equality
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Women have proven they’re capable of doing anything a man can do. Which turns out to not always be a good thing. I was brought up in a conservative, Catholic country and absorbed a whole lot of misogynist narratives. There were the usual suspects: boys don’t cry, girls can’t do maths, guys sleeping around is cool…