Category: Masculinity
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Dear progressives, can we please treat all men like criminals?
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Men are not toxic by default, just like there are no natural-born criminals. But we all do some things wrong and should try to be better. A bit more understanding of the structural challenges we face would go a long way in helping us do that. My hood The area of Berlin, where I live…
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Want Gender Equality? Become a Men’s Ally
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We talked a lot about the importance of becoming a women’s ally. As we look closely at masculinity, men also need you on their side. Help them in these 6 ways. A common strategy to inspire men to become better humans is to beat them until they mould into the desired shape. Somewhat oddly, it doesn’t…
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The Dark Side of Gender Equality
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Women have proven they’re capable of doing anything a man can do. Which turns out to not always be a good thing. I was brought up in a conservative, Catholic country and absorbed a whole lot of misogynist narratives. There were the usual suspects: boys don’t cry, girls can’t do maths, guys sleeping around is cool…
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On Being Desired
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Basking in the flames It’s party night. I just know this one is going to be awesome. A handpicked crowd of weirdos and misfits, a massive flat with themed rooms, a bunch of art performances… I took Monday off. I’m pretty hyped and feel like making an effort for this one. Just as well that…
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Guilty until proven innocent
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I remember the first time somebody told me that when I walk down the street at night and there is a woman walking in front of me, I should cross to the other side so she doesn’t feel threatened. I don’t think I understood it at first. Why? What have I done? Have I become…
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Are Men Emotionally Immature?
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For a host of very bad reasons, we spent a very long time denying that women are equally capable of doing math as men. Some very smart people would justify this: after all, women are the emotional ones who can’t fathom the rational workings of a male mind. They would even present empirical proofs: Behold…
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Short On Sex
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I admit it, I haven’t been my best self when I’m sex starved. I have been irritable. I have been passive-aggressive. I have said things that made my partner feel inadequate, and I have done it in the full awareness of the fact that this not only hurts her, but also makes my problem worse:…
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Men: Our Hard Shells and Our Soft Bellies
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I should be more vulnerable, they say. I should learn to express my feelings and be comfortable with having a wider variety of emotions than just anger. I should drop my gruff guard, let people in, and really connect with them on a deep level. I should open up about my problems and communicate them…
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Men are changing. Please be kind.
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It is hard to look in the mirror and say: I’ve done bad things. It’s hard to even say: I belong to a group that has done bad things. And over the last years, women have been more and more boldly shoving that mirror in men’s faces: Look at who you are! Is this really who…