Author: admin
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The Same Tired Points, Again And Again
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I often have to make the same basic points in discussions. I’m putting them down here and in future, I’ll simply link to the relevant one. As I write a lot about gender, that’s the examples I’ll be giving, but the points are more generally applicable. Reading the whole thing in one go will sound…
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The Real Reason Why ‘Nice Guys’ Finish Last
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People tend to conflate being nice with being a doormat. These are not the same and a solution to people treating you like a doormat is not to stop being nice. It’s to develop some healthy self-respect. A few months ago, I met this girl on Feeld. Normally, I’m not much for using dating apps…
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What it is like to feel (K)enough
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Hey all, I’m branching out! I decided to try this video thing people are raving about. I’m still traveling, so can’t really do proper video essays, but then again, travels are educational and what better time to share what I learn than right here, right now. Today, I am feeling really enough. Kenough, even, like…
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Madness Café Interview!
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I am honoured to have been invited by Raquel Howard and Jennifer Moorman Bolanos to their great podcast, the Madness Café. It’s doubly important to me, as I’m one of only a few men to appear on it. We talk about a number of topics, including the problems men experience in the modern world, the…
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Men’s Problems Are Real Problems
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There is a worrying trend of denying that the problems men struggle with exist or are important. Loneliness, sexual frustration, confusion over what is appropriate, pressures to conform, difficulties in dealing with emotions, are all routinely trivialised and dismissed. Doing so is not helpful and only creates more distrust, hurt feelings, and unwillingness to improve. We need to admit…
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Guys, go see Barbie but watch Ken
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Everybody is raving about how woke and feminist the Barbie movie is and either loves it or hates it. I can see why, but I think few people pay enough attention to a very positive and powerful message it holds for men: You Are Kenough Yeah, I know the movie has been out for ages. What…
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The Shades of Rejection: Friend-Zoning, Sex-Zoning, and So Much More
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Rejection is more complex than you think, but thinking about it in a more nuanced way will help you process it better My Ex-Lover I used to have a great lover. She was hot, fiercely smart, and joyfully adventurous. This one time, we were horny on the way to a party, so another lover lent me…
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How Do Men Stop Being Needed and Start Being Wanted
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Women no longer need men. If guys want to find a partner, they must focus on being wanted. But they also can’t desperately need women, as this only reverses the dynamic. Instead, we should seek balance and use becoming wanted as an opportunity to grow. Let’s start with a metaphor A few years ago I moved…
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Defuse Pointless Gender Arguments with the Power of Psychology
You know how when somebody else is late, they’re a horrible person, but when you’re late, there’s always a good reason for it? The psychological mechanism behind that attitude is at the roots of many disagreements about gender. Fortunately, there are ways you can avoid it. Late, but useful I always find it endearing when psychologists…