Want Some Whiskey With Your Sex?

A while back I was invited to do a podcast for a podcast focused on all things sexy and whiskey. What a combo. After we recorded an episode, Romeo, the host, asked if he could bring me back for a whole series. And thus we’ve recorded not one, not two, but three podcasts together!

You can listen to all of them on Spotify or wherever you want. For your convenience, links and summaries below:

Do Men Just Want Sex or What?

The episode challenges common stereotypes about men’s sexual desires and behaviours. We explore the nuances of male sexuality, discussing the psychological, social, and emotional factors that shape these desires.

Key Takeaways

• Sex as Emotional Substitution: Many men use sex to fulfill emotional needs like validation or fear of rejection, which doesn’t address the underlying psychological issues.
• Emotional Connection vs. Sex: Human sexuality is diverse, and some individuals need emotional connection before sexual attraction, challenging the idea that men only desire sex.
• Limitations of Using Sex for Emotional Fulfillment: Sex can be a form of intimacy but should not be the sole means of addressing emotional needs, as it doesn’t resolve deeper emotional struggles.
• Suppression of Emotions in Men: Societal conditioning teaches men to suppress emotions, leading to unhealthy emotional expression like anger and hindering emotional growth.
• Encouraging Emotional Intelligence and Self-Improvement: True strength lies in acknowledging emotional needs, and practices like acting classes can help men develop emotional intelligence, fostering self-exploration and growth.

Men and Emotions

We explore the often misunderstood landscape of men’s emotions, addressing societal pressures and stereotypes that discourage emotional expression.

I discuss the importance of emotional intelligence for men, the impact of vulnerability on relationships, and strategies for overcoming barriers to emotional openness. Listeners gain valuable perspectives on fostering healthier emotional habits, enhancing personal well-being, and building stronger, more authentic connections. Whether you’re seeking to better understand yourself or support the men in your life, this conversation offers practical advice and deep reflections on embracing and expressing emotions.

Key Takeaways

• Societal Conditioning on Masculinity: Men are often taught that expressing emotions conflicts with masculinity, limiting their ability to experience a full range of emotions and leading to mental health struggles.
• Denial of Emotions and Mental Health Issues: Denying emotions is harmful and can lead to bottled-up feelings, contributing to mental health issues, including depression and suicide, particularly when men feel they cannot express vulnerability.
• Anger as an Emotional Outlet: Men frequently express suppressed emotions as anger, which alienates others and prevents them from seeking help. This reinforces the stereotype that men lack emotional intelligence.
• Stoicism and Emotional Mastery: True stoicism involves acknowledging and understanding emotions, not suppressing them. Ancient philosophers saw emotional mastery as key to personal strength and mental clarity.
• Encouraging Emotional Expression: Men need to engage in self-reflection and find therapeutic outlets to process emotions, fostering mental health and breaking free from the damaging stigma that discourages emotional expression.

The Rom-Com Syndrome

“The Rom-Com Syndrome” is a phenomenon where people idealize and romanticize the notion of love, heavily influenced by romantic comedies and cultural narratives. This idealization often leads individuals to forget that real-life relationships require effort, compromise, and open communication.

Key Takeaways

Self-Knowledge and Realistic Expectations: Individuals must develop self-awareness to understand their own needs and how they want to give and receive love. Critical reflection on media-induced fantasies is essential for fostering healthy, authentic relationships.

Media and Unrealistic Expectations: Romantic comedies and media shape societal perceptions of love and relationships, often creating unrealistic expectations that lead individuals to compromise their true selves and desires.

The Influence of ‘Pick Me’ Culture: Media also reinforces harmful cultural pressures, such as ‘pick me culture,’ which encourages women to modify themselves to gain male attention, fostering misogyny.

Misunderstandings and Love Languages: The commercialization of love can lead to misunderstandings about how love should be expressed, with actions like gift-giving becoming seen as essential, even when they may not align with an individual’s love language.

Superficiality in Dating: Dating apps and media create a transactional, surface-level approach to relationships, which ignores the deeper emotional connections necessary for lasting compatibility.

The Epidemic of Loneliness

Blending intellectual rigor with the show’s signature conversational style, we explore why feelings of isolation seem to be on the rise, how loneliness impacts mental health and intimate relationships, and what we can do to forge deeper connections.

1. True connection requires effort and community engagement
   Fulfilling, meaningful relationships come from investing in real-life communities — not passively consuming content or isolating oneself through technology. Human connection doesn’t thrive on convenience alone.
2. Technology can hijack our natural social drives
   Social media and digital platforms exploit our dopamine systems, giving us cheap, easy hits of pleasure that mimic connection but don’t actually fulfil our deeper social needs. This leaves people lonelier and more disconnected over time.
3. Loneliness creates vulnerability to harmful groups and ideologies
   When people feel deeply lonely and starved for connection, they become more susceptible to joining extremist groups or harmful movements simply because these offer a sense of belonging — even if that belonging is rooted in negativity or hate.
4. Men especially struggle with emotional connection due to social conditioning
   Men are often discouraged from emotional expression and vulnerability, which hampers their ability to build deep friendships and relationships. This socialization leaves them isolated and more at risk of seeking unhealthy forms of community.
5. Balancing masculine and feminine energies is key to healthy connection
   Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities, and learning to express both — including emotional openness and empathy — is crucial for fostering authentic relationships and avoiding emotional starvation.
6. Shallow dopamine hits cannot replace meaningful, effortful achievements
    Whether in social life or personal growth, lasting fulfilment comes from experiences that require investment and challenge. Just as quickly scaling a mountain by helicopter robs the journey of meaning, easy dopamine shortcuts rob relationships of depth and satisfaction.