If there is one thing that everyone in the gender war can agree on, it’s that masculinity is in crisis. But if what you want is gender peace, you should disagree.
We live in a world of polarising caricatures
In the left corner, the queer woke feminist corps is ready to cancel you for the tiniest microaggression, blame you personally for everything any man has ever done wrong, and stomp over your privileged patriarchal carcass with righteous glee. Many are shocked that men don’t particularly like them and vote conservative.
In the right corner, the alpha trad-wife incel squadron prepares to feed you the truth about the feminazi regime underlying your problems, purge all simps who treat women as equal, and bestow upon you the manosphere wisdom on extracting sex from femoids. How offended are they to be fact-checked or associated with violent extremists!
But most men are in neither of those caricature corners. Most men are in the middle, confused and taking a beating from both sides. Most men do not agree with the hard misogynists but are also tired of having to apologise they exist. Most men know that something needs to change but don’t know what to do because anywhere they turn, they’re told they’re wrong.
Most men are sick of this Masculinity Crisis.
But this is no longer a simple crisis.
It’s the Masculinity Revolution
Every revolution involves a paradigm shift: an ‘obvious’ and ‘natural’ order no longer serves us and gets replaced. It once seemed completely obvious that your place in society and access to opportunities should be entirely determined by your birth. The feudal paradigm was replaced, as were absolute monarchies, arranged marriages, and overt colonialism.
The Traditional Masculinity Paradigm has been in force for centuries. It still seems obvious that men should be stoic protectors whose value is determined by the status they gain through acquiring money, power and women. There are ‘appropriate’ jobs for us, ‘normal’ clothes to wear, and hobbies we’re ‘naturally’ more into.
All of it was fit for a different world. A world of basic resource scarcity and constant physical danger where, unless you were on top, you were a slave, a servant, or faced starvation. A world where not being man enough for a moment meant your family was in danger and the mental health impact this had was not spoken about. Where gender roles were defined through dominance and power, not fairness or freedom.
Life was tough but our great ancestors, men, women, and everyone in between, fought hard to improve it. And they won big time. Today, most of us are more comfortable, safe and entertained than the kings of the past.
But the job is far from complete. We might need less protection from physical danger and most jobs requiring raw strength are mechanised, but we have a mental health crisis, massive economic inequalities, and a million other things to deal with. Now, it is our turn to make the world even better for future generations.
Women have been building and evolving for a while now. But this new world and these new challenges also require
A New Man
A man who stands up against exploitative systems and builds strong relationships and communities rooted in fairness and freedom. A man who knows how to navigate his and others’ emotions to protect our mental health. A man who cherishes virtues such as strength, courage or wisdom, but invites everyone to partake in them to reach common goals.
He realises that the status game is no longer big enough a deal to justify denying himself access to the full range of human experiences or pushing others down to stay on top. He knows that women are not points in this game but equal human beings. His fight is not against them but with them, arm in arm, against the world’s challenges.
The New Man is proud to be a man because he uses his powers to build a better future of love, peace and kindness. He is not confused or worried that there is no place for him in the new world because he takes an active part in building it and develops the strengths and skills which allow him to thrive in it. He does it for others, but he also does it for himself.
He doesn’t need to fight the queer woke feminist corps or shout NotAllMen, because every minute of his life is proof that men can be good, loving, respectful, and use their power to build a fairer world.
He doesn’t succumb to the alpha trad-wife incel squadron because he’s not threatened by the new world, doesn’t need scapegoats to justify failures, and has outgrown the scarcity mindset which made him fret about status.
The New Men don’t want a gender war.
We want a gender peace
Enough destructive fighting, it’s time for constructive compromise.
We will not be exactly what women or feminists want us to be, but we will respect them and build a better world with, not against them. Neither will we double down on an outdated paradigm, but we will preserve that which was good in it. We will forge our own way, with respect for the autonomy and needs of others but with our own needs, dignity, and happiness in mind.
The men of today are not in crisis. We are in the middle of a revolution which is turbulent and pulls us in all directions. It is hard and arduous, but many New Men are already emerging.
Enough about crisis. Enough negativity.
Men are neither villainous enemies nor oppressed victims. We’re just human, we struggle and fail but we’re trying to get it right. Be our ally, support us, and help us see that there is a place for us in this new world.
The Masculinity Revolution is underway, and all seems in chaos.
This is your moment.
Embrace the change, lead the charge, and emerge a New Man.
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