I am now more active in the professional side of the gender discourse, getting into dialogue with people who work for NGOs and organisations which promote healthy masculinities and men’s stories. Honestly, it’s a world which makes me want to sing with joy.
I’ll give you one example. Last week, I went to a webinar where Dr. Jocelyn Lehrer presented her excellent initiative: The Men’s Story Project. Its aim is to help guys grow and relate to gender equality via personal storytelling.
Dr Lehrer inspires men of different ethnicities, backgrounds and identities, to come together and share stories of life events which shaped them as men. Things they struggled with, role models they had, things that made them the way they are. Some speak about the social conditioning they’ve overcome. Others of their mental health issues, power struggles, porn addiction, trying to fit in, coming out, loneliness, relationships, sexual health and rights, and of a million other things.
The power of men’s stories
Their stories have a great power: they can show the path to other men. Men who might have similar problems, be lost in life, who struggle in silence without knowing what to do. One good example we can relate to is worth a thousand pages of theory.
This project is an antidote to all who only know online feminism and see it as being about bashing men for being men and proving women are better. It’s not sanctimonious or judgmental, it doesn’t seek to blame and shame.
It’s about platforming men who worked some things out and letting them inspire others to see a way forward. About recognising they’ve done some serious personal growth and even though they might not be perfect yet, they deserve recognition and respect.
It’s about allowing men to express their humanity and be heard for who they are without judgment. About empowering men to discuss what matters to them, even if society discourages it. About encouraging men to be strong and amazing through leading, inspiring, and uplifting each other.
It’s about helping men approach ourselves and the social world we live in with a critical eye and realising how we can be better men — for our own sakes and for the sakes of those around us.
Helping men talk
Dr Lehrer offers the participants great support. They are tutored in public speaking and engaging writing. Group facilitators help guys come together, forge their narratives, and develop a show or a film. But in the end, the voices are all theirs — it’s about their experience.
In fact, I got the impression that Dr Lehrer has a remarkably hands-off approach. Her project simply inspires men to come together wherever they are — in different countries, cultures, wakes of life — and gives them the resources to share their stories. I didn’t get any hint of thought policing or censorship involved in the process.
The project’s motto is: Building Strength, Creating Peace. This is what I think great feminism can do for men and what men can derive from great feminism. This is what I think men can look forward to in an equal future. It is inspiring to see it happen.
What I love about it
I love The Men’s Stories Project because it shows that there is a better way towards gender equality. A way which focuses on the positives, on what men can do for each other, on how we benefit from a more equal future.
And I love The Men’s Story Project because it was started by a woman. A feminist, who can see that the path forward leads through kindness, support and positivity. Who understands that men, like all humans, respond better to those who are nice to us.
I am very happy to have had the privilege to hear Dr Lehrer speak. In the discussion, I suggested that a great power of her project lies in avoiding the trap of preaching to the converted. Instead, platforming and celebrating good, self-reflective men means more men will listen. It was great to hear that this is very much what she is committed to.
I’ve been talking about the need to reach the ‘men in the middle’ who are neither hard misogynists nor really committed to gender equality. I think that The Men’s Story Project is a great way to reach at least some of them and help them see that gender equality does in fact include men and that an equal future is good for us, too. I would love to see it grow and to see more projects like it.
Check out men’s stories!
The Men’s Stories Project has created over 20 original storytelling productions in the US, Chile, Canada, Gaza Strip and West Bank, and received awards including a ShareCare Emmy for excellence in digital health media (Men’s Health category).
I very warmly encourage all of you to check out the project website. Unfortunately, their two main films are not free to watch, but they’re not expensive. You can also find a number of videos from their live events on YouTube — I link some below.
You can also decide to become part of the next group of men who speak about their experiences. I know some guys I met through here would have some very interesting stories to share — you should definitely do so!
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