{"id":246,"date":"2023-09-10T06:24:03","date_gmt":"2023-09-10T06:24:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/"},"modified":"2024-05-15T10:19:38","modified_gmt":"2024-05-15T10:19:38","slug":"the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/","title":{"rendered":"The Real Reason Why \u2018Nice Guys\u2019 Finish Last"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

People tend to conflate being nice with being a doormat. These are not the same and a solution to people treating you like a doormat is not to stop being nice. It\u2019s to develop some healthy self-respect.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

A few months ago, I met this girl on Feeld. Normally, I\u2019m not much for using dating apps as I find them rather soul-destroying, but I decided to give it a go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She was from the US, visiting Berlin for a month. She was nice, hot, and we were both up for some casual fun. We arranged a date and I picked a bar close to where she was staying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was there at the arranged 7pm, but she didn\u2019t show up. No reply to my messages or calls either. I waited for half an hour and went home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple of hours later, she sent me a message saying that she overslept. Turns out she went clubbing last night and, Berlin clubs being what they are, she partied well into the next day. She offered to meet up at another time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lesson from my partner<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t use to be like that. Back in the day, I would definitely try to rearrange. I mean, this was definitely going where I wanted it to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I learned better from my partner. When she wants to meet up with somebody and the person doesn\u2019t respond, is late, takes ages to reply or just is a bit lukewarm about it, she just says: whatever, plenty of fish. If they\u2019re not respecting her and her time, she has no time for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought: easy for you to say! A beautiful girl will always find a fish if she wants one. When you\u2019re a straight guy, you need to be much more flexible. You need to go out of your way, play nice and bend over backwards, because gods only know that those fish won\u2019t be chasing after you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or do you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What my partner was doing, was having some basic self-respect. She treated people who don\u2019t reply, don\u2019t show up, or otherwise waste her time, as not showing her the respect she deserves. That means they\u2019re not dating material, case closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Likewise, when she wants to meet up with someone but they don\u2019t reply with the same enthusiasm and she feels she needs to do all the work, she decides: they\u2019re clearly not that interested, I\u2019d rather go with someone who is.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you know what? I find it hot as hell. The way she holds herself, says what she wants, and doesn\u2019t let people mess with her, is incredibly powerful and power is hot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moreover, I found that this makes her much more mentally healthy. She doesn\u2019t fret over guys not responding to her messages and doesn\u2019t feel worthless, unlovable, or not enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But are we so different? Why should I chase people who do not show the same enthusiasm? Make allowances for those who don\u2019t respect my time? Humour those who expect gods know what without giving anything in return?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why can\u2019t I have enough self-respect to tell such people to get lost?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I can.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

By the time my date stood me up, I was well-versed in the art. Seriously? Overslept? For 7pm? I understand Berlin party mode and all, but honestly, if you can\u2019t set an alarm or write me at whatever hour you got home that you need some sleep and might be late\u200a\u2014\u200aif you get me to ride across town to see you, don\u2019t show up, and then say \u2018oops, can we pick another time\u2019\u200a\u2014\u200athen you can go stuff you entitled ass full of someone more desperate than me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I did phrase it more kindly, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How hot is a doormat?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you allow people to walk all over you, well, they will walk all over you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not a gendered issue, by the way. Women do it to men, but men do it to women, as do people of any gender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It happens in dating, but it\u2019s no different to what will happen at work, in school, in a sports team, or in any social setting. Once others figure out that you don\u2019t respect yourself, they won\u2019t either. They will waste your time, throw their work on you, pass you for rewards that you deserve\u2026 It\u2019s not that men or women can be shit. Humans can be shit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(#NotAllHumans, of course)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in dating, there\u2019s an additional layer to it. Because how attractive is a doormat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By allowing people to treat you without respect, you show them that you do not have much self-respect. And this kills you not just on one but on two fronts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Firstly, it shows that you don\u2019t have the confidence to say you deserve better than that. I don\u2019t need to convince anyone that confidence is sexy, I hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, women might not do it consciously, but there will be a part of them that wonders: Why don\u2019t you have self-respect?<\/em> And then a whole Pandora\u2019s Box of unsettling questions appears:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you in fact so desperate that you\u2019ll swallow any disrespect? But why are you desperate? Is this your only chance? Do you have nothing else going on? That is suspicious, is there something wrong with you? Did other people try? Did you hurt them? Did you bore them? Did you creep them out? What is wrong?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your date is wondering what\u2019s wrong with you before even meeting you, it\u2019s probably not a good start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And let\u2019s be honest here. Women in particular have sadly very good reasons to wonder about all of that. You might be the nicest person on Earth, but some guys are creepy, boring or abusive. None of them have it written on their foreheads and neither do you, so your date needs to figure it out from other cues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lack of self-respect is such a cue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being nice is not being a doormat<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This is a thing the real reason why so many guys who call themselves \u2018nice\u2019 and try their best to be as accommodating and forgiving as possible, finish last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not the niceness that\u2019s the problem. The problem is that they conflate being nice with being a doormat. They try so hard to be accommodating that they let people walk all over them. They signal that they don\u2019t have self-respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can see why that happens. If a guy who has become a doormat wants to speak of his problems, he obviously won\u2019t admit to being a doormat. He\u2019ll just say he\u2019s too \u2018nice\u2019. This way, nothing is his fault and the others are to blame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a great defence mechanism, but it\u2019s a lie and a lie with implications. The implication is that now everyone thinks there is a problem with being nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you think that you\u2019re too nice to get dates, take some time and just think to yourself without telling anyone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you too nice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or do you just lack self-respect?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photo by Hussein Xodie on Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Two mistakes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Many guys who talk about this subject correctly recognise the problem: if you\u2019re a doormat, women won\u2019t treat you well or find you attractive. But they then blame it on the wrong people and offer the wrong solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Passing the blame<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Women as a group are not to blame. They don\u2019t want to exploit you any more than anyone else wants to exploit you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    This is not to say that some of them won\u2019t\u200a\u2014\u200abut the same goes for your colleagues, schoolmates, and so on. This is not a gender problem, it\u2019s a people problem. If you show a lack of self-respect, then sooner or later some people will start exploiting you, simply because it\u2019s in their interest and they can get away with it. If you must blame anyone for it, blame the innate selfishness of the human species. Though I don\u2019t think that\u2019s very productive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And if lack of self-respect means that women don\u2019t find you attractive, well, sorry to say, but maybe it\u2019s because lack of self-respect does in fact make you unattractive. Again, this is not their fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. The solution is not the other extreme<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      The \u2018solutions\u2019 I see thrown about are equally mistaken. Many present this as an either-or situation. Either you\u2019re nice and a doormat, or you stop being nice, demand respect without giving anything in return, and treat them rough so they won\u2019t even think about hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      As with any black-and-white thinking, this is a false dichotomy. There is a huge greyscale of options in between, pretty much all of them better than the extremes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      You absolutely can be nice, kind and accommodating, while at the same time being firm about people respecting you and your time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      You can be a fountain of understanding and accommodate those who treat you well, even if sometimes they make mistakes that hurt you (hey, we all make those). Assuming they own up to the mistakes and don\u2019t repeat them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      For example, if my date wrote me ahead of time to say: Sorry, I messed up and won\u2019t manage tonight, can we reschedule?<\/em>, I\u2019d be very understanding and reschedule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But since she wasted my time without a second thought, I won\u2019t. Instead, I wrote a very polite yet firm message saying that that this was not OK, I didn\u2019t want to meet her now, and I wished her a great time in Berlin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      That\u2019s an example of assertively telling people off if they don\u2019t treat you well. They might see their mistake and change. But if they won\u2019t, then don\u2019t waste your time on them. Kindly tell them to get lost and move on with your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Self-respect is sexy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      Since I started behaving more like my partner, I have become stronger, more confident, and have more self-respect. This in turn clearly makes me more attractive\u200a\u2014\u200adespite turning some women down, I actually have more opportunities than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Plus I just don\u2019t feel crap when someone turns out to be a time-waster. I tell them to get lost and don\u2019t let it get to me. Since I\u2019ve seen the Barbie <\/em>film, I even have a name for this: it\u2019s easier to be Kenough when you don\u2019t feel dependent on your flaky date\u2019s validation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      At the end of the day, your life is like a house. If you let in people who will drink your booze, break your chairs and shit on your carpet, then that\u2019s the kind of people you\u2019re going to have in your house. If you don\u2019t have the confidence to demand respect or throw them out, they will stay. You will feel horrible, you\u2019ll get a reputation, and more people like that will come. And trust me, none of them will want to have sex with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But if you ask people to take their shoes off, take care of the furniture, and confidently yet kindly throw out a couple inevitable troublemakers… Well, then you can go on having a fantastic time with the good, respectful people who stayed and \u2013 yes! \u2013 be nice to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      People tend to conflate being nice with being a doormat. These are not the same and a solution to people treating you like a doormat is not to stop being nice. It\u2019s to develop some healthy self-respect. A few months ago, I met this girl on Feeld. Normally, I\u2019m not much for using dating apps […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":534,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-sex-and-dating","category-virtue"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/10d4b14646b0e1449a24d89df1717354\"},\"headline\":\"The Real Reason Why \u2018Nice Guys\u2019 Finish Last\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1939,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/doormat-scaled.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love, Sex and Dating\",\"Virtue\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/doormat-scaled.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00\",\"description\":\"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/doormat-scaled.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/doormat-scaled.webp\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1920,\"caption\":\"Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/2023\\\/09\\\/10\\\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Real Reason Why \u2018Nice Guys\u2019 Finish Last\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/\",\"name\":\"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt\",\"description\":\"Find your Direction, Values and Purpose in the Modern World\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/04\\\/Compass-Logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/04\\\/Compass-Logo.png\",\"width\":282,\"height\":281,\"caption\":\"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/medium.com\\\/mans-compass\\\/madness-caf-interview-incoming-f1d08eb28c31?source=friends_link&sk=870767d96a9b4216eb53dbad6aaaf149\",\"https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/MwsVCtaKqQg\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/10d4b14646b0e1449a24d89df1717354\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simonfokt.org\\\/index.php\\\/author\\\/simon\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt","description":"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt","og_description":"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.","og_url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/","og_site_name":"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt","article_published_time":"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":1920,"url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp","type":"image\/webp"}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Estimated reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#\/schema\/person\/10d4b14646b0e1449a24d89df1717354"},"headline":"The Real Reason Why \u2018Nice Guys\u2019 Finish Last","datePublished":"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00","dateModified":"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/"},"wordCount":1939,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp","articleSection":["Love, Sex and Dating","Virtue"],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/","url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/","name":"The Real Reason Why Nice Guys Finish Last - Dr Simon Fokt","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp","datePublished":"2023-09-10T06:24:03+00:00","dateModified":"2024-05-15T10:19:38+00:00","description":"Find the basel factors putting up to the perception of nice guys finishing last in relations. Get insights into building healthy connections.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/doormat-scaled.webp","width":2560,"height":1920,"caption":"Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/2023\/09\/10\/the-real-reason-why-nice-guys-finish-last\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Real Reason Why \u2018Nice Guys\u2019 Finish Last"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#website","url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/","name":"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt","description":"Find your Direction, Values and Purpose in the Modern World","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#organization","name":"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt","url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Compass-Logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Compass-Logo.png","width":282,"height":281,"caption":"Man's Compass with Dr Simon Fokt"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/medium.com\/mans-compass\/madness-caf-interview-incoming-f1d08eb28c31?source=friends_link&sk=870767d96a9b4216eb53dbad6aaaf149","https:\/\/youtu.be\/MwsVCtaKqQg"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/#\/schema\/person\/10d4b14646b0e1449a24d89df1717354","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f7a53c6e443ee449259584790cbe56d039bb7cfb3d6713efe5a79f33989bb794?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/simonfokt.org"],"url":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/author\/simon\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=246"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":537,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246\/revisions\/537"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/simonfokt.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}